as if some type of wonderwall will save me

why do i long to please others who will only continue to search for fault in my attempt?

why is my self-worth and identity found on the tip of the tongue of another?

why am i continuously searching for myself in someone else's eye and speaking words that please their ears?

why do i look straight ahead when i ought to be looking up?

why do i worry about tomorrow when my protector is already there?

why am i afraid to finish last when i know that's where i'll find the servant?

why do i cling to man's creations while the creator of man clings to my heart, calling, waiting a reply?

why do i grasp hold of temporary prominence as if some type of wonderwall will save me; hanging on with my life, afraid to loosen a grip that has a much tighter hold on me than i'd like to imagine, while all along i'm being called to something greater. something bigger. something amazing and beautiful and infinite.
i go on with my life as my savior and biggest fan calls out to me, begging, waiting an answer, longing for me to fall into his arms, surrender to his majest, and come back to the heart of adoration, the trueness of worship, and the pureness of devotion.

he's there. and i know this.

so i must ask, why?

why seek a glimpse of myself through someone else's eye while the divine rock who loves me most has tears streaming down his face longing for me to reach just a little further and grasp his incredible gift that none will ever match.

i'm ready.
-pc