as if some type of wonderwall will save me

why do i long to please others who will only continue to search for fault in my attempt?

why is my self-worth and identity found on the tip of the tongue of another?

why am i continuously searching for myself in someone else's eye and speaking words that please their ears?

why do i look straight ahead when i ought to be looking up?

why do i worry about tomorrow when my protector is already there?

why am i afraid to finish last when i know that's where i'll find the servant?

why do i cling to man's creations while the creator of man clings to my heart, calling, waiting a reply?

why do i grasp hold of temporary prominence as if some type of wonderwall will save me; hanging on with my life, afraid to loosen a grip that has a much tighter hold on me than i'd like to imagine, while all along i'm being called to something greater. something bigger. something amazing and beautiful and infinite.
i go on with my life as my savior and biggest fan calls out to me, begging, waiting an answer, longing for me to fall into his arms, surrender to his majest, and come back to the heart of adoration, the trueness of worship, and the pureness of devotion.

he's there. and i know this.

so i must ask, why?

why seek a glimpse of myself through someone else's eye while the divine rock who loves me most has tears streaming down his face longing for me to reach just a little further and grasp his incredible gift that none will ever match.

i'm ready.
-pc

20-21 vision

welcome.

i guess..

i mean, what do you say in your first blog?

i'm not going to lie, i'm a little nervous. nervous because this thing is public. nervous because i, like most, actually do expect to gain a little something from reading others' writing. that means maybe you, or maybe not, or maybe someone else might expect to gain something from this.... or maybe not. but either way, it makes me a little nervous.

doesn't look like i'm off to a great start either... or maybe so? who knows?

but if you are reading this, i welcome you.

--- i'm a big fan of titles. a good title can captivate its audience leaving them begging for more. it is usually the sole reason i will even begin to read a piece of work in the first place. but the catchy thing about a good title is that it is usually one of the very last things constructed. i've written countless term papers, research papers, essays, and responses; thousands of words penned before ever knowing what to call it. and at the very end, i'd ask, what title would bring justice to its work? what is it all about? what shall i call it?

well that reminds me of the importance of names in the bible. a name absolutely represented that person. individually. your name told who you were and what you did, it brought justice to your work. it told what you were all about. names could change, too. you could change. you could change what you did and what you were about. that's a cool idea. what if we lived like that today? by your name, everyone knew exactly who you were and what you were like. they knew what you were all about. a pretty awesome idea, but maybe a pretty scary idea. a pretty awesomely scary idea. just a thought?

so this title is called "20-21 vision." its all about the beginning of a 20 year old's thoughts of a 21st century's time. but that will change. i will change. always am.
-pc